It's OK to be a Woman

Alright. I was raised a Tom-boy, devalued for not being "girly" (pretty) enough and later devalued for not being "technical" (boy-like) enough. Overall, I was just generally devalued for being me. Well, God Loves me for who I am, I now have friends who Love me the way I am, and I've started learning who I am as a person, and really defining myself in that light - and why wouldn't I Love the woman that God Himself is Creating within me? I've most recently been faced with the challenge of defining myself as a woman, not just as a generic person. It's been easy for me to not really concern myself with being "feminine" in the past because to try and figure that out in today's modern day and age is really rather difficult. This is a huge deal, because of all the womens-lib stuff vs. traditional conservatism vs. what I'll term as "funky" (all that wild stuff women pick up on from other cultures, traditions, and countries which do not follow traditional American standards for women).

What ARE the differences between myself and men, as far as who I am inside? I'm still not entirely sure, because the more I get to know different men and women, the more I realize just how much we really do have in common (internally). We all want to be loved, and to be loving, reach our goals, etc. What about who I am as a person sets me apart? I'm still trying to figure that one out, though I will say that my natural aversion to gory situations may be one major difference. I HATE blood. Obviousely another difference is that at least for occasions where I feel like wearing a dress, I really get into it and love designing really nice dresses. My baptismal dress was a bit odd because the whole point was that it was made to get wet, but other dresses I've designed in the past are really stylish and nice.

One thing I've discovered is that I actually enjoy at least one "feminine" activity: painting my nails! Angie shared this time honored ancient tradition with me yesterday, and I've had quite a lot of fun trying different colors, combinations, etc. The thing is, it's not because women are somehow "supposed" to do this that I enjoy it so much -- it's simply because it's fun, creative, artistic, colorfull... Whatever. If I saw a heterosexual man with painted nails in this country, I might probably still take a double take, but really, I can't say that I'd laugh or condemn him. In truth, I'd be more likely to ask him what his favorite colors are and if he wanted to do my nails sometime (if he were any good at it)! Somehow, I'm just able to see beyond the gender-issues and see nail-painting for what it really is - an art and a science that should not be so easily neglected. I hope to get better at it. I just really got into it, so I'm not that great at it yet (I have done this once or twice before, but really it was just because my female friends wanted to paint my nails to make me more girly - it had nothing to do with my doing this for myself because I wanted to).

So, without further adu, here is a shot of my toes all painted up with different colors ;)



I got a shot of my fingers that's ok, though I don't like the lighting and focus. Ah well, here it is:

Wow

(Click title link to read the article I'm reacting to here.)

I'm totally impressed. Well, I don't agree with a few things (such as it being ok to not be married and still have sex/kids), but you know, the rest of this article helps me a LOT. LOL - I've really felt a need for my husband today. Yes, I still want marriage. But this article does refocus me a tad in a REAL way that makes sense.

Gasp! Babies come from where???

Subtitle: "Caroline crashes into the realities of Godly sex (within marriage)"

Ok. So... First, I get baptised in a Spiritual Marriage to God, who has found all kinds of ways of telling me how deep His Love attraction is to me, so much so that it has caused ex-boy friends to take it way too far with me when they've felt His Love for me (but didn't know what to do with it). Then I become reacquanted with Laura and Leslie, who are now 5 months pregnant and definetely married, so now my "maid of honor" is no longer a "maid"... In the last few weeks, circumstances have taken place that have led me to finally understand that when I get married, when I have sex with my husband, it will be an act of Worship to God, not to my husband...

Then last night, Erik lent me several books, one of which is all about Christian Hedonism (he had to explain to me what "Hedonist" means and told me that it's someone who seeks only the pleasure of knowing God), and then this morning, I had a dream about my human husband that was totally out of control (no, we didn't have sex, but, um, we could have if I hadn't have awoken!)... And now I'm learning the deeper meaning of Godly pleasure - that it's in seeking to explore and express my desire for Him in all His glory that I will find complete satisfaction as His Bride, Daughter, and Friend...

I now realize that sex is NOT the goal that the world makes it out to be. It's a metaphore which just happens to bring out much enjoyment and occasionally babies (yay!) It teaches husband and wife not only about each person's ideal Relationship with God, but it also is a faint shadow of something that, from what I can tell, transcends our humanity and tells us a story about something that we can hardly begin to comprehend.

So, yay for that hush-hush S.E.X.! Within marriage, what a Holy Delight! Now, um, where's my husband, anyway??? How unfair to have such a great dream and not also the reality! Or perhaps the dream was also a shadow of what God holds in store for my Relationship with Him ;) In which case, well folks, I CAN'T wait :p

The Godly Dating Pep Talk

I'd like to share my recent "findings" about God, people, Love, etc, in a world where secularism clashes daily with Believing in God: in the dating/courtship world. This all comes in the form of a pep-talk I wound up giving to a dear Sister of mine, who in her spirit, is so MUCH like me. I wanted to post these here, in case my Sister needs to be reminded of anything pertinent at some later date and can't get ahold of anyone to remind her. Life can be tough, and sometimes it's good to keep a list of whatever it was that made a difference. So, Sister, I hope these made and make a difference for you:

1) God LIKES you. All the time, not just when you think you're doing what He wants you to. He ENJOYS spending time in your presence, and can't hardly wait to have your full attention, so you two can spend Time Together ;)
2) God LOVES you more than your best friend, spouse, or other family members ever could. If any of these Love you a LOT, then just know that He Loves you even more! Also, if I, being imperfect and mortal Love you enough not to condemn you, then God must Love you more than me! What, am I greater than God? I think not!
3) You can't earn God's Love, nor can you unearn it: God isn't a bank account for you to deposite into and withdraw from. It's more like He's a Billion-Billionaire, and you are His spoiled brat grandbaby who He can't help but Love and give good Gifts to!
4) Agape Love always forgives, never bullies others, never says never, and accepts others the way they are...
5) Whatever annoys you about others, you can always find something worse in yourself, and God still Loves you (and them too).
6) Jesus became a murderer, theif, adulterer, liar, tax collector... And He LOVES you. Can you Love a God who became as evil as satan himself while on the cross, dying for the chance to spend all of Eternity with you? If you can Love God who became like satan, then certainly you can learn to Love yourself, as He Leads you to do so, right?
7) You aren't responsible for the choices and actions of other people. You are responsible for your own wrong choices and actions, until you realize that God placed that responsibility on Jesus' shoulders in order to set you free from bondage to guilt, depression, anxiety over what you did, so you can move on.
8) It's ok to be a woman. You don't need to be ashamed of anything at all, just because you are female! Yes, women are human beings too, just like men are. We are not somehow less capable of finding ourselves having gotten into mischeif.
9) It's ok to let that non-husband-material-party-animal-boyfriend imaginarily sit in the recliner facing the TV enjoying his lifetime of favorite-empty-entertainment, while you sit somewhere else (for real) and make your own decisions for yourself, which will affect the rest of your life, which could be 50 - 70 more years or so. Don't worry for 5 minutes about how your decisions MIGHT affect him! Is he really what you want? You'll never change him, and he's not likely to magically change all on his own, you know. (I said this because I know the guy too well to think he'll change anytime soon, and so does she. He's a sweetheart and all, but he's an overgrown kid.) Or are you willing to Trust God to bring someone into your life who, while he may not be perfect as a person, he'll have been Perfected by God? Also, are you willing to let God put a man through the process of being made just for you, and then you go and choose a guy who's not husband-material at all? This guy might last for a little while, but really, the relationship can end in 1 of 3 ways: marriage, break-up, or friendship-break-up. There is no 4th alternative in the end! If you don't want marriage (she sounded like she didn't), and don't want a break-up that leads to hatred (she sounded like she didn't want that either), then you might want to consider turning this relationship into a very casual friendship, which will allow the two of you to get to know each other better on a deeper level without everything going haywire.
10) You were willing to give up your life out of guilt. Are you willing to give up your old life for the New Life that God is offering you? If not, what in the world are you hanging onto? Why not let go of the old life while things are still not as bad as they could be, and hang onto the New Life that He'll Live in you through the Holy Spirit? Why not Trust Him to do that for you?
11) It's good to keep a list of the demons you fight, so you'll have something to remind you of the lies you've believed all this time and how you don't have to believe them anymore.
12) Nothing is worse than letting churchy people tell you what's right and wrong for you, interpreting everything for you, and guilt tripping you if you don't do things "their" way. Don't operate on their set of rules, which tend to just be about human beings trying to be perfect under their own power, rather than relying on the Holy Spirit to guide them personally. Instead, observe God's Love, observe what it's really based on, and take it from there.
13) God's Spirit is in everyone, even those who don't believe in Him, to some degree, so whatever you say or do to someone, you are doing it to Him. (No, He won't condemn you for accidentally killing a mosquitto ;) )
14) You ARE worth more than anything God ever made in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE, just as you are, right now, and you always will be.
15) I'll be here for you no matter what. If you do something you think I'll not approve of, tell me anyway if you want to, and I won't judge you for it, but will go on Loving you. Tell me all about the Journey as God takes you on it!
16) You KNOW that everything I've said is in the Bible: you KNOW it's all true, in your head. Now, will you Trust God to help you learn these things in your heart? Or will you turn your gaze down low, never to look and never to know, if you can give yourself completely to Him?
17) If you're willing to wait for God to do so, He'll find some way of letting you know Himself for sure who your spouse is. It might be wise to hold off from dating relationships until He does that, since they can only end in 1 of 3 ways anyway.

That's all I can remember of the pep-talk, at least of things that were said that made a difference. Hope it helps my Sister, and perhaps that it might help other people out there too.

Re: Real Sex: the Naked Truth about Chastity

LOL - well, I couldn't submit a reply to Earl's post on March 25th, but I'm dying to share this with him, so, Laura, if you could send him the link to this page, I'd really appreciate it, ty :)

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Dear Earl,

Wow - hey, first of all, a personal ty to you for voting for the Querida name for Querty :) I kinda figured it wouldn't be liked - glad to know I'm not the only one who likes it :D

Secondly, I find it so personally Beautiful that God inspired you to write this on March 25 of this year. I was rebaptised on that same day this year because I finally realized that while I had made a commitment to God (which I broke in tons of ways after I was first baptised), I had NEVER (known or) accepted HIS Commitment to me, to Guide, Love, and Protect me from evil, etc.

You can read my Blog to read more about what happened. The best entry to explain it is a three parter starting at The Story of Jesus and Me, part I. This has EVERYTHING to do with the topic you are discussing in this post.

Yes, I am proud to say that, (only through God's Protecting me), at 31, I'm still a virgin. But more than that, He has miraculousely Purified me, within and without, and to be honest, I can't think of a cooler way to Live: depending on Him for that. And that's what I'm REALLY proud of :D

PS. I'm unabale to spell/grammar check right now, (long story), so sorry if there are those mistakes in my posts/comments when you read them here and elsewhere.

God bless!

Caroline
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Bless you too, and thanks, Laura (L)