Gasp! Babies come from where???
Subtitle: "Caroline crashes into the realities of Godly sex (within marriage)"
Ok. So... First, I get baptised in a Spiritual Marriage to God, who has found all kinds of ways of telling me how deep His Love attraction is to me, so much so that it has caused ex-boy friends to take it way too far with me when they've felt His Love for me (but didn't know what to do with it). Then I become reacquanted with Laura and Leslie, who are now 5 months pregnant and definetely married, so now my "maid of honor" is no longer a "maid"... In the last few weeks, circumstances have taken place that have led me to finally understand that when I get married, when I have sex with my husband, it will be an act of Worship to God, not to my husband...
Then last night, Erik lent me several books, one of which is all about Christian Hedonism (he had to explain to me what "Hedonist" means and told me that it's someone who seeks only the pleasure of knowing God), and then this morning, I had a dream about my human husband that was totally out of control (no, we didn't have sex, but, um, we could have if I hadn't have awoken!)... And now I'm learning the deeper meaning of Godly pleasure - that it's in seeking to explore and express my desire for Him in all His glory that I will find complete satisfaction as His Bride, Daughter, and Friend...
I now realize that sex is NOT the goal that the world makes it out to be. It's a metaphore which just happens to bring out much enjoyment and occasionally babies (yay!) It teaches husband and wife not only about each person's ideal Relationship with God, but it also is a faint shadow of something that, from what I can tell, transcends our humanity and tells us a story about something that we can hardly begin to comprehend.
So, yay for that hush-hush S.E.X.! Within marriage, what a Holy Delight! Now, um, where's my husband, anyway??? How unfair to have such a great dream and not also the reality! Or perhaps the dream was also a shadow of what God holds in store for my Relationship with Him ;) In which case, well folks, I CAN'T wait :p
Ok. So... First, I get baptised in a Spiritual Marriage to God, who has found all kinds of ways of telling me how deep His Love attraction is to me, so much so that it has caused ex-boy friends to take it way too far with me when they've felt His Love for me (but didn't know what to do with it). Then I become reacquanted with Laura and Leslie, who are now 5 months pregnant and definetely married, so now my "maid of honor" is no longer a "maid"... In the last few weeks, circumstances have taken place that have led me to finally understand that when I get married, when I have sex with my husband, it will be an act of Worship to God, not to my husband...
Then last night, Erik lent me several books, one of which is all about Christian Hedonism (he had to explain to me what "Hedonist" means and told me that it's someone who seeks only the pleasure of knowing God), and then this morning, I had a dream about my human husband that was totally out of control (no, we didn't have sex, but, um, we could have if I hadn't have awoken!)... And now I'm learning the deeper meaning of Godly pleasure - that it's in seeking to explore and express my desire for Him in all His glory that I will find complete satisfaction as His Bride, Daughter, and Friend...
I now realize that sex is NOT the goal that the world makes it out to be. It's a metaphore which just happens to bring out much enjoyment and occasionally babies (yay!) It teaches husband and wife not only about each person's ideal Relationship with God, but it also is a faint shadow of something that, from what I can tell, transcends our humanity and tells us a story about something that we can hardly begin to comprehend.
So, yay for that hush-hush S.E.X.! Within marriage, what a Holy Delight! Now, um, where's my husband, anyway??? How unfair to have such a great dream and not also the reality! Or perhaps the dream was also a shadow of what God holds in store for my Relationship with Him ;) In which case, well folks, I CAN'T wait :p
posted by Caroline Talita Ishshah | 8:19 AM
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